Bens speech

To many, my Dad was Christopher, to most of the people he worked with he’d be Chris, but to family, he’s only ever been known as Kiff and to me he was Dad.

I now want to say thank you. 

To the family, friends, neighbours, hospital, McMillan and care staff. People have been so incredibly kind, writing nearly 200 cards to Mum and the family telling us how Dad fitted into their lives and what he meant to them.

Mum and Dad had eight very happy years in Arkwood close. The neighbours have been so thoughtful over all those years and especially these last few weeks, that we wanted to thank all of them too. 

And also thank you to Viv, Dad’s sister, for coming over from Spain to help care for him over the last few weeks of his life. 

You only had to go for a walk around the marine lake or a coffee and a cake somewhere and he’d bump into people he knew. Whether it was from badminton, golf, work, or even occasionally people he knew from school. He had an incredible knack of being able to not just recognise them, but also name them, say how he knew them and pull out a story about them. 

He was always interested in people. Not in a nosy way where he wanted to know their business, but just interested. He listened when they spoke and stored that information away for a later date. 

It was this skill that made him the perfect host. He was a gifted mingler and would work a room, ensuring no-one was left alone or with a half empty glass.

He took his golf seriously. Even when he was watching it in later years. If the kids would walk in to see him and someone was about to putt, he’d hush them up to ensure the golfer on the TV wasn’t put off by the noise or movement.  

Family was everything to him. In the last big trip we did together, we went to Vancouver together as he wanted to see his Uncle John and the whole Canadian branch of the family. When we were there, he wanted to buy mum a present. We explored a few options and quickly decided that a coat would be the order of the day. 

Obviously he didn’t know what size Mum was so then proceeded to walk around the shop looking for a lady of a similar size and stature. She then tried the shortlisted jacket on for him, doing all the required twirls and poses. They both agreed it was the perfect fit and the coat was bought. Not only by Dad, but the lady herself, so impressed was she with his taste. 

There are now two people walking round with a perfectly fitted fishing coat. 

One piece of wisdom he passed down to me was the rule of cake. Never mark them too highly. 

Wherever we were, he’d love to stop somewhere for a coffee and cake. 

And, even if it was the best cake he’d ever eaten, when asked how it was he’d jokingly say average and then mark it as an 8/10.  – His theory was that if he left them room for improvement with his marking, they would try harder to impress him by giving him more cake. 

And just before I finish, one of the messages that really resonated with the whole family was the them across many different cards, where he was described as a fine, principled man. 

I think that sums him up beautifully and I am proud to have called him my father. 

Thank you.